“There are many variations of illnesses. Do not judge, do not compete! Rather, embrace the differences of us all, and strive to, together, find hope!”
As a blogger myself, and someone who utilizes social media both personally and professionally, I often soak in boatloads of information, particularly in the health and wellness sphere. I’ve taken to reading not only news and research, but also others’ personal blogs, “tweets” and posts on Facebook and forums regarding living with arthritis and other autoimmune conditions.
It inspired me to write a blog discussing something that, I think, is very important for the public AND patients living with these conditions to know about – and that is the variations in symptoms, complications, and conditions in those with rheumatoid arthritis and similar illnesses.
As I’d mentioned in my latest fun facts/trivia post, some people with RA can run a cross-country marathon, others are wheelchair bound, or have total joint replacements before the time they are 18, yet others make careers out of being personal trainers or physical therapists. Some people say you can die from arthritis….other people believe it is merely an inconvenience and not a terrible diagnosis. I suppose, it is all in perception and varies case-to-case. Both of these assessments can, in fact, be true. But, that being said, neither have to be true.
I think that sometimes people with chronic illnesses expect everyone else who has the same condition to feel just like they do. The fact is, that frame of mind could not be further from the truth. People do not “experience” illness and/or pain in the exact same way due to a number of factors. So here, I’d like to explore this issue a little more.
Let’s name our imaginary patients – Joe, Annie, and Beth. (These names were totally chosen at random and are not real people!) All have rheumatoid arthritis. Why is Joe able to jog 5 miles every day, while Annie is in a wheelchair, and Beth can’t work full-time and is on disability for her arthritis? Why does Joe have to eat a special gluten-free diet, while Annie is iron-and-calcium-deficient with osteoporosis, and Beth can eat whatever she pleases? Would you wonder why Joe suffers migraines and vision problems with his arthritis, Annie has fibromyalgia with hers, and Beth has no complications at all with hers, other than seasonal allergies and asthma…but instead of having “flares”…is swollen and in extreme pain every single day?
My answer to this, after reading up on the issue, is simple: everyone’s body is different!!! Everyone’s 
physiological and biological makeup is different – even down to the cellular level!
One of my favorite quotes of all time is, “Be Kinder Than Necessary; For Everyone You Meet Is Fighting Some Kind of Battle” … I could not agree more. You never know what someone is personally going through or physically feeling, unless you ARE, in fact, literally that person!
Everyone’s body responds differently to drugs, diet, and environmental factors. One medication may work for me, and may not do anything for Annie. Joe and Beth may use the same medication, but suffer far worse side-effects from it than I would. This is why diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis are difficult to treat. Often, medications are used on a “trial-and-error” basis. Certain drugs work for certain people, and not others. There is often no rhyme or reason as to why this is. Other factors include lifestyle and heredity, along with comorbidities (i.e. coexisting conditions.) Last, but not least, the time of onset of disease may have something to do with it, too. Maybe how long you had the disease before diagnosing and/or treating it plays a factor in how your body handles it and the complications that may come along with it, as well as effectiveness of treatments.
Autoimmune diseases such as Rheumatoid Arthritis are confusing, even for doctors and other medical professionals. There is no known cause, and the disease process works differently for every individual patient. Also, many people with one autoimmune condition have more than one, and so many symptoms overlap, making them difficult to treat. There is no cure, either, for most of these conditions…..so how you handle and deal with these illnesses personally may have an effect on your progress.
I suppose what I am trying to say is that you shouldn’t judge people. Just because someone has the same condition as you does not mean that they feel the same as you, or are physically and/or emotionally handling it as well as you. Not to preach, but, we should all remember that. Every person has their own unique set of circumstances and complications, and, every person – sick or not – has their own set of problems in life. As they say, life isn’t fair…and so, we make the best of it! 
One thing that having been slapped with chronic illnesses before even becoming a teenager is this: it not only made me a strong person, but, it also made me a much more sensitive, compassionate, and empathetic person towards others….which has actually helped me deal with my own illnesses.
Here’s the deal: even if, on the surface, two people are the same age, gender, and ethnicity, and “on paper” have the same set of illnesses and symptoms, that does not mean that they will respond the same way physically to the disease process, treatments, or even in attitude towards the illness.
Be realistic. I, for one, know that I cannot run long distances. However, I would never say someone’s arthritis wasn’t as bad as mine simply because they could. We do not know what else they are battling, and, the truth is that all forms of it are bad. Even if it is in remission, that does not mean that it won’t come back. It also does not mean that you will not suffer some other complication from the disease itself or medications in the future. I support everyone with arthritis and related diseases. I’ve heard from people with arthritis who can’t even fasten their bra. People who can’t climb the steps. People who have lost their voices due to cricoaryteoid forms of rheumatoid arthritis. But, I’ve also heard inspiring stories of people who have run in 
marathons (such as Patrick who is running a cross-country marathon for JRA!), people became yoga instructors despite their disability, and those who continue with professional sports or dance careers despite their condition. I am happy for these people, and I support them – for I feel that it brings hope to us all – and isn’t that what it is all about?
It is important to remember in our struggles that we are not alone. We’ll always find someone in the world
who can relate to our situation. Some may have it better, some may have it worse, but when it comes down to it, we’re all in the same boat … or, at the very least, in different boats, but all in the same river….which, hopefully, will eventually lead to relief and a better life for us all.
Last but not least, here is an idea – we should all talk to other patients like ourselves. Keep dialogue open, whether online or in person. I’m always open to discussing my conditions and treatments, and love learning about how other people are coping. Education is key.
Why does acupuncture provide some extent of relief for me, but not others? Why does massage actually hurt some RA patients instead of help, while others find it immensely beneficial? Why do I feel “icky” after taking Methotrexate and/or Remicade? Why did my friend develop pancreatitis with her Sjogren’s? Why does my grandma have eye problems from her rheumatoid arthritis? Why do some people need total joint replacements, while others just need injections? How do people handle working full-time and juggling a family while enduring their illness? Why do some people swear by supplements and alternative therapies, and an all-natural route, but it doesn’t work for other folks? It really is interesting!
You’d be surprised at all the first-hand accounts and personal stories that people are willing to share about their illnesses, even if just online! I think that if you can find a good support system of people who can commiserate with you and share their outlook and/or opinion on living with arthritis or related illnesses, that you’ll only benefit! It is hugely beneficial to share, and hugely beneficial to learn by taking in what others are sharing – whether it is struggles, triumphs, or, simply a news article or piece of research. We all need someone to lean on, and together we can form a community of people who understand and embrace one another! We all have our own unique stories to share, and we should all be respectful that…..as we learned from Sesame Street as children, we are all different, special, and unique! Understanding and acceptance are important. Make sure that your family and friends are aware of this, and if you feel that they do not understand your particular case, explain it to them! Communication is a key factor in all relationships whether romantic, familial, friendships, or professional.
Therefore….don’t forget to communicate with us! Please, feel free to share your personal stories! Is it hard for you to see others who are seemingly “better off” with the same illness that you are battling? Or, does it give you hope? Do you get frustrated when people do not understand the severity of your personal situation? Do you have any encouraging words for the newly diagnosed, or, simply comments on the blog? We’d love to hear from you – so post a comment, if you’d like!
Stay tuned for Entry #8 in Ashley’s Journey to Wellness next week!
Thanks for reading, and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Stay well,
~ Ashley Boynes
Community Development Director
Arthritis Foundation, Western PA Chapter
“Voted Best Blogger in Pittsburgh!”
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